Watching Things Change Around Me

In our work, Radha and I have many opportunities to interact with conscious and loving individuals, and one of our most prominent goals is to practice compassion. Definitions abound for this word, but for us, it simply means keeping our hearts open to all those who are suffering. Some of them we know intimately, yet this morning it was much bigger then that. I woke feeling sensitive and vulnerable, and there was a heaviness in my chest as I contemplated those in need who we do not know. Earthquakes, floods, the recent tsunami - so many people have been suffering these past months.

Four decades of meditation have allowed me understand the impermanence of my body, my mind, and everything that makes up this world around me. Yet, I would never want that to downplay the emotional experience of watching things change every day, every month, every year and certainly every moment. What I felt this morning was not overwhelming, just a gentle swirling sadness that invited me to sit in meditation and send out wave after wave of soft surrender.

In our weekly meditation gathering the evening before, I laughingly used my self as the example for the ever-changing nature that we call Life. I told how shocked I was a few months ago when suddenly the image in the mirror had my father’s throat. Wrinkled skin had suddenly appeared where, only the day before, there was the smooth skin of a twenty year old. I laughed along with the others for the image actually made me feel closer to my Dad than ever before.

me and my Dad, looking more alike every day

Hmmm... Maybe my sadness is born of the realization that next month will be the anniversary of my Mom’s passing. Or maybe, without even knowing it, my upcoming 61st birthday is sending me a signal. I love that I feel these deep emotions, and it seems to me that dancing through this ever-changing field of possibilities is the only viable option. What begins in a flash, so quickly (or not so quickly) inevitably ends. Pleasure and pain mix together so perfectly, and offer an infinite variety of moments where we can either let go (let G_d) or struggle fruitlessly, hoping and striving for the fulfillment of our desires.

I know that life is an exquisite movement of consciousness. And, as I embrace every emotional interaction with my world, I am re-minded that we are all connected to the same Source. Truth is One, and the paths to it are so many.